And while I'm on this subject, WIN-WIN-WIN is wrong too!
Don't misunderstand, I love the sentiment of 'win-win,' it's just a flawed formula here's why:
Because ... You have to keep score.
If you're truly entering into a relationship where it's supposed to be good for everyone, how does that work where both parties are constantly auditing each other's actions and counting.
It creates moments nay, (yup ... I used 'nay') a continual flexing stream of stress as you worry about ensuring you're getting your 'fair share' of whatever "it" is.
And what to do if the other party doesn't put in enough ... fast enough? Then what?
Do you confront the other party and accuse them? Do you show them the ledger you've been tallying up during this so-called business love-fest?
It's rubbish, and frankly a royal pain in the ass to keep track.
My approach is easier.
I simply don't keep score - at least not consciously.
You and I both know instinctively if we're getting screwed over, we don't need a ledger to prove it.
So the next time someone suggests a 'win-win' (or a win-win-win ... yikes, that's tracking two sets of scores!) I suggest you smile, and remember loving someone means you never have to keep score ...
Oh wait, I think I just mixed my next 'Dear Abbey' column into this one
Until next time,
A place for casual conversations (that don't fit anywhere else.)
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